Jokes!

Everyone gets writers block – and just like a good portion of the population of Florida State has Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease – I have writer’s block. So therefore, I present you with jokes.  Jokes

“What’s wrong, Bubba?” asked the pastor.

“I need you to pray for my hearing,” said Bubba.

The pastor put his hands on Bubba’s ears and prayed. When he was done, he asked, “So how’s your hearing?”

“I don’t know,” said Bubba. “It isn’t until next Tuesday.”

But honestly, how often do we pray for someone without getting clarification about what they really need? How much of our offers to pray start with an earnest conversation, and how often do we use “I’ll pray about that” as a way to shut down a conversation?

We were making leaflets for a local church, and the client wanted a logo designed with Earth being shielded by the hand of God. I sent the client a proof. Shortly thereafter, I got a call.

Client: The hand looks too human. Please use a hand that looks more like God’s.

This one just made me wonder how human and how God-like the hand on our stained glass looks . . .

A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of a road holding up a sign that reads “The end is near! Turn around now before it’s too late!”

A passing driver yells, “You guys are nuts!” and speeds past them. From around the curve, they hear screeching tires—then a big splash.

The priest turns to the pastor and says, “Do you think we should just put up a sign that says ‘Bridge Out’ instead?”

A parable about church language?

Spotted on a church marquee: “Love your enemies; After all, You made them.”

That one might even be worth the chalk sign at some point.

En route to church to make his first confession, my nervous seven-year-old grandson asked me what he could expect.

“Confession is where you tell all the bad things you’ve done to the priest,” I told him. He looked relieved. “Good. I haven’t done anything bad to the priest.”

So hopefully you’re not going to do anything bad to me before I see you all for confession. Have a great week.

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