Little closet boxes, tiny little purple ribbon stoles, elaborate screens that hide collared men behind them, prescriptions to say 452 “Hail Mary’s” and 312 “Our Father’s”, starting off with the line “Forgive me, Father, it has been x amount of days since my last confession…” etc etc…. Those are the images that come up when most of the world is confronted with the word “Confession”. 
I’m sitting here in my office during one of the times that I am offering on Ash Wednesday for individual confession and absolution….twiddling my thumbs…waiting….for….nobody. Because who is going to show up for individual confession and absolution? That is just weird. Why would I do that? I mean, maybe if I murdered someone, but….yeah, even then probably no.
Well, actually one person came in earlier this morning. Maybe they were a murderer. I can’t tell you anyway. I took a vow in my ordination not to. Not even Liz knows what people tell me. But I can tell you how the process goes. I can’t tell you what people tell me, but I can tell you how the process works and what I will tell you. That’s the funny thing about this individual confession and forgiveness thing: my lines don’t change. I always get to say the same thing. Here’s what it looks like:
Preparation: You may prepare yourself by meditating on the Ten Commandments. You may also pray the penitential psalms (6, 32, 38, 51, 102, 130, 143). If you are not burdened with a particular sin, do not trouble yourself, or search for or invent other sins, thereby turning confession into a torture. Instead, mention one or two sins that you know and let that be enough. When you are ready…
Confession: Pastor, please hear my confession and pronounce forgiveness in order to fulfill God’s will. (I say, “Proceed,” then you continue…) I, a poor sinner, plead guilty before God of all sins. I have lived as if God did not matter, and as if I mattered most.My Lord’s Name I have not honored as I should; my worship and prayers have faltered.I have not let His love have its way with me,and so my love for others has failed. There are those whom I have hurt,and those whom I have failed to help.My thoughts and desires have been soiled with sin. (If you wish to confess specific sins that trouble you, continue as follows: ) What troubles me particularly is that . . . (here confess whatever you have done against the commandments of God, according to your own place in life. The pastor may gently ask questions and/or give you instruction here – not to pry or judge, but to assist in your self-examination.) I am sorry for all this and ask for grace, I want to do better.
Absolution (Forgiveness): (I say, “God be merciful to you and strengthen your faith.) You say, “Amen.” (I say, “Do you believe that the forgiveness I offer is God’s forgiveness?”) You say, “Yes, I believe.” (I say, “Then let it be done for you as you believe. In the stead and by the command of our Lord Jesus Christ, I forgive you all your sins in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”)
And that’s that. We might get into a little discussion afterwards, but a lot of times we won’t. In fact, since my lines are the same, you can just imagine that I’m there saying them to you. I mean, that’s kind of lame, but you can do that. You know what my lines are and you know that I would say them to you. But if you’re willing to imagine me saying them, maybe you could build up the courage to hear me actually say them. Maybe not though. That’s ok. I didn’t do this myself until later in life. I get it. It’s scary and weird and all sorts of stuff. But let me tell you, it’s also good. I mean actually good. I’m way over my word count goal, but seriously, it’s good. Take my word for it. I do this about every two weeks with a pastor I know, it’s good. I wouldn’t waste my time otherwise.
So maybe you’re willing to try this? Call me and set up a time. “Book” a time with me at http://jwinterscom.youcanbook.me . Catch me after worship (not before worship, please), I’m usually around on Sunday afternoons for quite a while. Maybe you’re not there yet. That’s ok. I’m just going to tell you stuff you already know anyway: God loves you. Jesus died for you. Your sins are forgiven. Thanks be to God.