James Kimmel Jr (not the “Jimmy” of late night fame) spent years researching something that might feel natural to us, revenge. In his study of revenge he found that “grievances,” his umbrella term for things like real or imagined slights, injustices, betrayals, or victimizations, these grievances make our brains respond in a way that is very similar to bodily pain. So when you find out that you’ve been lied to, your brain feels that hurt like it was a punch in the gut.
In response to this feeling of internal pain then, the brain seeks to comfort itself with pleasure. Interestingly, one of the places that the brain goes for that sense of pleasure is the real or imagined “righting of wrongs,” in other words, vengeance. It drives much of what feels good about the underdog hero who was picked on getting to punch the school bully. It is why we may fantasize about someone getting their “just desserts”. Vengeance feels good to us, it feels right to us. You could even say it is intoxicating.
At least that is what neuroscientists have noticed. Revenge makes the level of dopamine in our system spike. It acts like a drug. It soothes us when we’re in pain. It numbs us when we’re overstimulated. It distracts us when we’re in the throes.
But Jesus eschewed vengeance. Instead of vengeance, He said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23). That’s a good thing for us by the way. The fact that Jesus refuses vengeance means that we’re safe. Somehow God is above our responses, even when taking on our human flesh. He doesn’t take revenge, and we should be thankful. After all, what is sin if not injustice, betrayal, and victimization?
Instead of vengeance, He shows us a different way, the way of forgiveness. And forgiveness acts differently. If vengeance acts like the response to our hurt, the way that we lash out when we’re in pain – then forgiveness acts like the medicine that actually takes the pain away at the source. Forgiveness identifies what is wrong and it works on that. It doesn’t just respond, it heals.
We’re all going to have reasons to feel vengeful this week, but perhaps instead of indulging that fantasy of revenge (or even worse, acting on it which will create subsequent pains), follow what God has done for you in Christ. Forgive the wrong instead of trying to extract revenge for it. Trust may need to be rebuilt, but the only way trust can be rebuilt is if the desire for revenge dissipates. Find a way to forgive and see what healing God showed us in Christ’s forgiveness of our sins.